8 Simple Steps That Will Make You A Better Listener


The most difficult part of communicating with others, and the one that most of us do not pay enough attention to, is listening to others. If you want to communicate well with others, with your wife or friends, you have to be a good listener. Let you know that listening is different from just hearing, although the difference is very simple.

Listening means that you only listen to sounds, but listening means that you listen and understand well what the other person is saying. You may think that you are listening to your wife well, while you are listening to her and not paying attention to her. Some couples may become frustrated because they do not listen well to each other, so get out of this state of despair and learn how to become a good listener through simple steps.

1.    Get rid of interruptions

When you talk to your wife, focus your attention entirely on her, as we advise beginners to turn off the television and mobile phone, and if it is possible for you to take a walk in the garden of the house, there is no objection to that so that you do not take your eyes off of her for anything else. Since a good listener should not be cut off from the person in front of him, this is one of the basics of listening, in addition to helping you listen better.

2.    Focus on what the person in front of you is saying

How many times has your wife talked to you and you didn't pay any attention to what she said? This happened a lot, I think! Many of us are thinking about what to have for lunch or on our unfinished to-do list. So, most of the time, we may not listen to what the other person is saying, but all that concerns us is our response to his words.

 When you notice that your thinking is starting to drift away from what the other person is saying, immediately bring yourself back to the point, focus on the words this person is saying and give them the necessary attention.

3.    Put yourself in the place of the person talking to you

It is very important to put yourself in the place of the opposite person when your ideas conflict with his ideas, because you have to understand his position well. This perception may change your opinion from opposition to agreement with what he says. Listening to whoever is speaking to you is the only way to disagree with him in opinion without clashing. Listening also allows you to feel the other person's identity by seeing the topic from their perspective.

4.    Stop talking

Many people never listen to someone who is speaking to them, because they receive the conversation at the end, or they search in their minds for the appropriate answer or response. Train yourself to remain calm when someone is speaking in front of you. Refrain from speaking and interrupting others. You and the person you are talking to must have enough time to say what you have to say. So learn to wait your turn to speak.

5.    Repeat what you heard

After you give the person who is talking to you enough attention, focus on what he is saying, and listen carefully to him, you will have to make sure that you understood what he said correctly and repeat it out loud. If you are not focused enough, this person will repeat what he was saying to you again, until you understand it completely, and the person in front of you should do the same thing with you.

6.    Respond appropriately

Marriage is the best example of this, as it is a safe haven for spouses to express themselves. You should not be afraid to share your private matters with your wife. There is one way to build trust and create an environment of dialogue between you, and this method is the appropriate response to what you hear from your wife.

For example, if she starts crying over something, do not laugh at her, but hug her. Do not underestimate the value of your wife if she consults you on a matter that concerns her, whether intentionally or willingly, because you will make her frustrated with your words unless you support her.

7.    Use your body language

Your body sends signals even if you do not speak, so an effective listener does not use facial expressions that indicate shock or boredom, but rather uses gestures and body language to show the person in front of him that he is interested in listening to his words. Use your body language to show your love for the person who is talking to you, instead of negativity that may hurt him.

8.    Practice listening skills

Listening requires training like anything else. In addition to repeating what you hear from the person who is speaking to you, you can do exercises that strengthen your art of listening, such as remaining in silence for 3 minutes a day and distinguishing sounds that are familiar to you. Experts in this field say that we should devote 60% of the conversation time to listening and nothing else.

Suggested activities to improve listening skills

Improving listening skills is crucial for academic success and effective communication. Here are three activities to enhance listening skills among students:

Active Listening Exercises:

Conduct interactive exercises that focus on active listening. One effective activity is the "Partner Share." In this activity, students pair up and take turns sharing a short story or experience. The listener must then summarize or repeat back what they heard to ensure understanding.

Another activity is the "Listening Journal." Assign students to listen to a podcast, TED Talk, or a recorded lecture. Afterward, they can write a summary, highlight key points, and reflect on their understanding. This encourages focused and purposeful listening.

Role-Playing and Simulations:

Use role-playing scenarios to simulate real-life communication situations. For example, students can participate in a "Job Interview Simulation" where they take turns being the interviewer and interviewee. The emphasis is on listening carefully to the questions and responding appropriately.

Conduct a "Group Decision-Making Simulation" where students work in teams to solve a problem or make a decision. Effective listening is crucial for understanding team members' perspectives and reaching a consensus.

Listening Comprehension Exercises:

Choose engaging audio materials such as news reports, interviews, or story podcasts that align with the student's proficiency level. After listening, provide comprehension questions to assess their understanding.

Incorporate "Listening Circles" where students sit in a circle, and you play a short audio clip. Each student must share what they heard with the person sitting next to them, creating a chain of communication. This activity promotes attentive listening and effective communication.


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